Relationships - II

I was going through some old posts today, and found this- weird how some things find relevance in your life at odd times.This was written in 2007, a long long way back. I can't actually figure out if I'm talking about relationships in general or about one relationship in particular. So, anyway...five years back, I was of the opinion that 


             "I always thought that if you have to work at a relationship- that you have to make a special effort at keeping it going, then it's just not worth it. What's the point of such a relationship, I would ask? In my mind it is always effortless and completely perfect. But Aditi says that you can't just give up at relationships, if things don't work out; that you have towork at all your relationships- no matter what kind they are. That got me thinking. Maybe there is something to it. 
Perhaps there's something seriously wrong with my attitude. Maybe I'm too lazy/weird/idealistic or something. I find that I get very easily discouraged. I need to think about the reasons for this."


Anyway, five yeas hence, after gaining a world of knowledge... and still being as single as ever, I decided that   maybe, there was a possibility that once you are in a relationship, and you want to make it work, you just do it. Why do you need to keep questioning yourself?


And presently, when I am in the first relationship of my life...he he he... which also happens to be the most significant relationship of my life...I can tell you all out there...Be unafraid. Be shameless in trying to make it work. Just be sure that you want to make it work. I don't have a perfect relationship. It's far from idealistic. But then, when I think about it early in the morning, I realize that for such a perfect and idealistic relationship to happen, I would have to be in a relationship with myself...or at least a clone of myself. No one can know exactly what I want or need or desire at all times. Its not humanly possible... And it's unreasonable to expect this from someone. Even I don't know all that about myself.


Perhaps I feel that relationships need work because I realize that we put so much of a pressure of expectation on them... And then we have to work on them to make them live up to those expectations. If we don't put in that work, we feel like failures and insecure in the relationship. Ego comes into play... We get emotional and when emotion clouds the rationality of the brain, that's a classic recipe for disaster. A lot depends on destiny, if you believe in destiny, that is. I've always found it a comforting and convenient thing to believe in. So you let things happen at their own pace... easier said than done... don't we all live our lives in a sense of urgent expectancy? But should you succeed in developing that strength of forbearance, sweet rewards await you at the end of the arduous journey. It was when I was least expecting it that my relationship deepened and moved forward significantly...