The Definition of Loneliness

Being lonely is not having someone to talk to. Being lonely is talking to a room full of people and not one of them understanding what you're saying. Being lonely is understanding what everyone is about and no one understanding what you are. Loneliness is when no one reads between the lines- perhaps because they don't can't or perhaps because they don't care enough to. Loneliness is when no one wants to delve deeper or seek more of you; when no one wants to hear what you have to say and no one acknowledges that you even possess a voice. Loneliness is when you batter your head against a wall and no one notices your bloody face. Being lonely is when no one wants to know or hear what you "think". Loneliness is being surrounded by fools who are happy in their ignorance. Loneliness is envying those happy fools.

25th July ' 06

Why do people who are closest to you, the ones that you care about the most are the ones that hurt you the most? I find that in my life, this is always true. I have tried to convince myself that I don't really care about what they say and think. But I do, and I just can't seem to help it. Everytime there is an incident, I have to reconsole myself that it doesn't really matter, but then I can't stop thinking about it and it ruins my days.
I'm just sick of trying to explain myself. I'm sick of people misinterpreting what I'm trying to say, and I'm sick of telling people that what they think is really wrong - and what I raelly mean. I'm sick of it, but it still hurts that people whom you real;ly care about just don't want to listen to what you have to say. They only ever care about their own voice and their opinions and what they think of YOU, never once caring for the truth. I mean, who the hell do you think I am? Who the hell are you to comment on me and my character? Have you taken a look at yours? Look carefully and you will know who comes out better by far.


How easy it is for the little bubble of happiness to burst.All you need is a little unhappy thought- that is always nagging away at the back of your mind anyway. All you need is an unkind word from someone whom matters. Or a disapproving glance. I think I'm still too young to harden myself against these things. But I want to know how to tell a person who was oncw very important that I don't care about you anymore because you hust me too much. Thats my problem, I can't break off. They are still important and I still care and they still affect my life and my happiness.
I know that I'm complicating my life. I could just not care about anything- nothingh would affect me then, and I'd be happy in the world I carry within Myself. But it doesn't happen that way. At least not for me. I am my own nemesis.

My Window

The Window in my room
is my door to the World.
I can sit behind it, and
abstract on life
knowing well,
that it keeps it at bay.
And I am protected by it
even though I abstract about
what is outside.