New End of Year Resolutions

It's been a long time. I think the longest ever break I took from blogging. But some nasty person who tried spamming me put me into action again. Plus I'm in touch with Scott again. I have very fond memories of Scott because his blog was one of the first I had visited when I'd just created my own. So, he too has set the creative process flowing.

Life moves forward everyday and at every instant. Most of the time this fact surprises me. Generally when I become aware of this fact, I try to better life and circumstances by doing things I don't actually have time for. Like calling a friend. Or reading a book. Or blogging. Funny how life encroaches upon time. I am very resolute that I don't want to be one of those people who lost out on their friends because they were busy with life and "stuff". And I don't want to be the friend everyone lost touch with. And I don't want to be the person who always had a sour disposition and regrets in life because she never got to the stuff she really wanted to because she didn't have time. I'm resolute that I have to make time no matter what.

I also don't want to be the person who wastes her time in stupid disappointments. But life has moved on now. And I don't want to be left behind. A relic from the past. But making the best of what you have, making a new beginning is not easy. It takes so much courage. So much that you don't know if you really have it in you. And you even make excuses. I said to myself, over and over again- This is not what I wanted for myself. This is not what I wanted to do with my life and for the rest of my life. And then the realization that you just need to accept it and move on takes guts. And then opening yourself to new ideas and especially to new people is what really kills you. You don't want to be vulnerable again. You want to go back to your old familiars. People you were safe with. But that's not gonna happen. Or maybe it will...in an ideal world.

These are all things I have talked to people in my life about at different times. Mahima, Aditi, Chamki, Surru, Scott. You have all given me lessons in life that I have begun to understand only know. I just want to thank you for caring enough to share pieces of you with me.